PLEASE LOOK AT MY RULES FOR DEALING WITH AGGRESSIVE PEOPLE
Many times when the aggressor saw I was not rattled by his verbal assault nor was I showing the signs he knew to look for,my being adrenalized, then I saw his demeanor change. His own "Frog Brain" sensed there was 'something wrong with this picture'. He had to determine if I was not really a safe victim to go any further . Now please look at my rules for dealing with aggressive people at left again. If you violate one, then you have violated them all. THis mean violence is much more likely to occur as well because you have disrespected him.
THE BULLY IS MOTIVATED BY SELF-LOATHING
Think about it a moment. Why are some people natural bullies? What do they get out of it really, what do they really want?
The bully feels ironically that he is powerless. He sees other people having the things he wants, material things, a girlfriend, etc. But most of all he wnats RESPECT! He wants people to see him as being 'somebody', that is somebody 'worthy of respect'. But his feelings that he is failure and that the world has dealt him a 'bad hand' divorce him from accepting any responsibility for his own situation. The others are less worthy than he because he can intimidate them Those less worthy wimps have those things he wants. But above all he wants to be recognized and respected. If you can allow him that most often there will be no attack and no fight.
This is such a key thing to understand in dealing effectively with any bully and in a way that serves you. A violent fight does not serve you, even if you do 'win'. Because there are legal and medical consequences that have shown me that the fight you really do win, is ONLY the one you avoid in the first place.
A REAL WORLD EXAMPLE OF GIVING 'THE BULLY WHAT HE REALLY WANTS' & THUS AVOIDING VIOLENCE
I was riding my vintage 1972 Harley Shovelhead returning from Arizona back to my home in Colorado. My camping gear was on my bike and I had been out on the road for about a week. I stopped at a bar for a brew and burger. The woman behind the bar sw my beautiful Harley outside the door in the sunlight. She asked me "How old is that bike?". I smiled and said it is 1972 FX I haver had for years, "Hell I'm 47 myself" This was of course years ago.
Then as I suspected it might the bully at the end of the bar began his exploration and probe of me for safe victim potential. He was a head taller than me and likely outweighed me by thirty pounds or so. He had long black hair and beard and was wearing 'biker' type clothes and boots and some other "biker paraphenalia' yet mine was the only bike outside. I do not wear that "biker stuff' or any such 'coustume' when I ride and that may have been part his motivation for approaching me to see how I would react to intimidation. Still keep in mind like any bully he is looking for acknowledged, recognition and respect. His only way to get that usually is to intimidate and humiliate people. Fear and resepect are the same thing to him.
BULLY: "You must have lived a pretty soft life then"
ME: "Perhaps, but some of it was not as soft as I'd have liked" (I smiled and looked at his face, not a stare down, when I said this)
He then stood up and walked over to my chair thus displaying his full height and menacing tattoos, and loomed over me.
BULLY: "Most people back down by now" (now I had to not laugh because that would have disrespected him. Muy objective was to avoid a fight. I looked him up and down quickly and with what I said and my facial expression and body posture etc were all coherent (saying the same thing). That was the non-verbal part of my response. What it said silently to him was 'Ok I know what you are doing and I am not worried about it". Then I said this:
ME: "Well I can see that you are pretty scaring looking guy. Looks like your in shpe too. What kind of work do you do?"
You see I was giving him what he was really after, some acknowledgement and respect. At the same time I was following all the Rules For Dealing With Aggressive People in the blue box above. I ws not disrespecting him at all, I wa calm, and I was giving him an easy and face saving exit. He then took it by artculating all the heavy construction equipment he could operate.
BULLY "I can handle D10 CAT to big Mitsubishi road grader....'
He then rattled offf some more equipment and my reply as ordered us a beer was
ME "No shit? I always wondered what ti would feel like driving some Godzilla sized equipment like that!"
Any physical conflict was avoide. He got his respect and acknowledgement. Now understand that frankly this is an advanced application of the rules, and so if you try do it this way you must 'come off right' about it. THE POINT IS: Any deflection or de-escalation of an aggrssive person follows the rules I listed 1-Show no fear 2-Do not challenge them 3-Do not insult them & 4- Give them an honorable and face saving exit.
While women face a different problem because it is most often sexual assualt, I submit that there are significant commonality as well to the basic strategy. The woman must not appear to be' good victim potential either'. Please indulge me even further too. In the business world I have seen the very same 'Bully' thing really. There are office bullies, boss Bullies and abusive bullying coworkers too. You will see and learn and practice in this class deal with these type bullies as well. It is all really only the tactics that may differ from case to case, but not the STRATEGY. You can be very ASSERTIVE without being insubordinate or aggressive.
It was my work as a Bouncer in New Mexico
that greatly influenced my creation of this training methodology
I worked in pretty fight prone Biker/Cowboy bar in New Mexico while I was a Mathematics teacher in the local high school. At left below in the blue box were my rules with dealing with threatening and aggressive patrons who were 'right in my face.'
They served me very well too It was only when I let emotions get the best of me and I broke one of these rules that there would be a fight, and nearly every time.The adrenal flush under a bully's verbal abuse can impair even a good technical martial arts person. Especially 'the fist time exposed to it' This happens because the martial artist's training in the Dojo,Kwan or Dojang never included dealing with this verbal abuse and the adrenaline rush and its confounding effects. A prize tournament, even a hard contact one does not engage the full adrenal dump either as a rule. Further, fine motor skills are the first to disappear under the adrenal dump, You can make it work for you in a crisis IF you have been conditioned to that adrenaline dump through experience or training. That is what the central objective of this course is for you too and the training methodology we developed has proven to work very well at that.It will work for you as well because biochemically we are all .made of the same clay'.
YOU SIMPLY DO NOT NEED FLASHY OR COMPLEX TECHNIQUES IN A REAL ATTACK.
When I was a lead bouncer (the Earth had cooled and the dinosaurs were gone) I had difficulty using my martial training at first. All I could do seemed to be to slip their punch then grasp them by the collar and pound on them. I discovered quickly that hitting a person in the hard bones of the skull damages your hand. I even saw this in 'patron vs patron' fights. There were a lot of broken bones in people's hands that punched others in the head. Frankly I did not know what the Hell I was doing when I first started. People would spit at me and tell me they were 'going to tear me new asshole' or "Tear my head off and shit down the stump'. At first I thought "well this is what I am paid for there is going to be a fight' And guess what? There then was a fight.
"I have never had such an experience,when you leave here you know 'what you know'. The people are fantastic and the whole class bonds amazingly in mutual support"
ARMORED ASSAILANT< SCENARIO BASED TRAINING IS THE ONLY METHOD I KNOW OF THAT ALLOWS YOU TO GO FULL FORCE IN REALISTIC NANNER AND TRULY DISCOVER YOUR INNER POWER
SAM LEVINE:Afghanistan war veteran as a Soviet conscript involved there in lethal hand to hand combat. "The combination of Psychology, Physiology and instructional methodology here is very rare and very effective."
OK, the course is intense but it is also a Hell of a lot of fun too!
Master Ernie Reyes: International Kickboxing Champion "This training will take you to the next levelas martial artist"
Peyton Quinn Developer of RMCAT & Stresshooting with Bill Kipp.
Even just a body posture and verbal abuse can adrenalize most anyone.It is how you use that biochemistry that counts.
(Unidentified on request)
I have been to all the 'top schools' in firearms training, Thunder Ranch. Gunsite, etc.I learned a lot there too, but nothing as relevant to actually using a firearms in real self-defense situation like I did here. Until you take this course you just do not know what you 'do not know'. The actual skill set needed is not what I thought at all before I came to this Stresshooting Training
The firearms course is scenario based. Instructors use Holywood blank guns, you will fire low velocity rubber bullets at the instructors. They know when ,where and If they are hit and respond accordingly. There is no guess work and it will pump your adrenaline up for sure and then you will discover the reality of why you almost can never use the sights of the pistol under stress, and also that it is needed to hit and stop your enemy either.
You will learn the use of a number of firearms types in this course
THE RULES FOR DEALING WITH AGGGRESSIVE PEOPLE
NO PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE IS NEEDED TO TAKE THESE COURSES
THERE ARE ALWAYS SPECIFIC TRIGGER FOR ANY ADRENAL DUMP
When an individual gets cues of danger the adrenal complex is flushed into the bloodstream, and thus the brain (The Control Room) . The adrenal dump is not the same as “Fear”.One can learn to actually use the adrenal effects to their advantage rather than being overcome by it. It can cue up immediately what is needed either to avoid the fight or to drop your potential assailant id need be.That is the central thing you will understand and a skill you will acquire in this course.
When those cues of danger are present then the adrenal glands will release the adrenal complex into your bloodstream. This is totally involuntary. It is like in when you are cut, you do not 'decide' to 'bleed' . You just bleed involuntarily
Examples of such adrenal release cues could be:
1-Words from an aggressive person (What the fuck are you looking at!)
2-The person's body language (the way he's standing and looking even before he gets in your face or speaks.
3-A sound (gunfire, car backfire, fireworks, a song on the radio,)
4- A smell ( and there are many more possible PTSD cues as well.)
SOME CUES ARE NATURAL,LIKE A SUDDEN LOUD NOISES, BUT SOME ADRENAL RELEASE CUES ARE LEARNED
BY PREVIOUS EXPERIENCES
It is easy to understand why a person 'right in your face' yelling at you can elicit the adrenal release.This is precisely why 'military drill Sargent s' do this to recruits, it is in order to put them into an adrenal sate. This is because they know anything learned under an adrenal conditions creates a much stronger and durable and immediately accessible memory.
Our Stresshooting applied firearms course we feel is the most realistic firearms methodology for self-defense training.
UNDERSTANDING THE POWER OF ADRENAL STRESS CONDITIONING THROUGH SCENARIO BASED TRAINING
Stephen Hayes:The man who brought Ninjitsu to the US after years studying in Japan. "A great program. everyone should experience this training"
Yoal Benush:26 years a leading Krav Maga instructor in Israel
"I am always looking for better training methods and when I take this back to Israel I think it will be revolutionary"
"Peyton Quinn has succeeded in creating the best short term self-Defense course existent." Black Belt Magazine 2002
AN AWAKENING WHEN I LET GO OF THE REACTIVE MINDSET
After dealing with this situation I realized I was partly responsible for there being a fight because I was reacting to the other person's threats and the adrenal cues he was sending me. Indeed it was also clear that this was why he was sending me those adrenal cues, that is to rattle me and thus impair my defense. Yet without the responsibility I had as a Bouncer and keeping order, I knew I had defused such people before outside of the Bouncer job. My error was clear then, I was of REACTIVE MIND to the aggressor in that bar. I saw how that gave my enemy some control over me and how to not let that happen.
"I learned more about real self-defense in these two and half days than I have in six years of my Kempo training. A great program!
PTSD IS NOT LIMITED TO COMBAT VETERANS
Imagine a former soldier that might go into say a 'Butterfly Pavilion' where exotic South East Asian butterflies are kept in a jungle forest environment, complete with high humidity and heat and even the sound of tropical birds. The Vietnam combat vet now is assaulted with a multitude of PTSD cues. He feels nervous and ill, his breath becomes short. He leaves the butterfly house immediately. Then his breath may come back and he feels at least a bit better. The cues were gone and so were the intensity of the PTSD behaviors reduced significantly. Yet understand the Nam Vet may have no idea what he experienced was a PTSD reaction to the environment of the butterfly Pavilion
But PTSD can result from any high adrenal crisis, an auto accident, a forcible rape, even a romantic break up. Hence PTSD behaviors may not be recognized as such by the person with them. Some of our behaviors are to some extent the result of previous experience, that is they are learned behaviors. Any PTSD behavior is a learned behavior. Yet you may not realize that in your self-aware mind.
In this course you will be adrenalized and perhaps you might gain an insight from the experience and see some habits, ones that do not serve you in a different light. This is therapy for some and we have seen it benefit people for decades in our teaching this class. These behaviors that 'do not serve you' can even be behaviors you repeat over and over again.
HOW IS IT POSSIBLE TO DEVELOP EFFECTIVE SELF DEFENSE SKILLS IN JUST THESE FEW DAYS?
One might think that since people study martial arts for years before and IF they develop real self-defense ability how can 3 or 4 days accomplish so much? It is precisely because adrenal memories are more durable and controlled by 'cues' that this method has proven itself so effective. Black Belt Magazine took a full year to send its representatives to the top “reality based” self-defense programs in the US , Canada and Germany. Afterwards they made this unprecedented statement in the magazine in 2002.
“Peyton has succeeded in creating the best short term self-defense course existent”
Frankly ,this statement in Black Belt Magazine even surprised me!
KNOWING TECHNIQUES ALONE IS DEFINITELY NOT THE FULL ANSWER
I hold black belts in three martial arts and so I know the many benefits of martial study and they are not limited to developing self-defense ability either. Having said that I also feel that martial arts is not comprehensive self-defense training. Martial Arts systems are largely about learning and polishing physical techniques. But my work as lead bouncer showed me that there is lot more than “techniques' needed to avoid being in a fight in the first place or also prevailing if it comes to physical violence. Knowing techniques alone will not likely serve you in a real fight if You are overcome by the the adrenal rush. REAL FIGHTS ARE OFTEN AMBUSHES AND LAST ONLY SECONDS.